PAIN DOESN’T HAVE TO BE PERMANENT

It is so crazy how most men and women have experienced some sort of trauma in their lives. It is absolutely awful! And the toll it takes on them can be devastating.

I believe each gender has similarities in how to begin the healing process and maybe some differences too. Since my clients are primarily women, I will speak of them...

More often than not women who have been abused or suffering from grief/loss trauma have not felt supported, heard or validated about their pain.

Think about when someone loses a loved one, everyone comes out of the woodwork to show their sympathy and support and within weeks, their phone stops ringing, people stop asking how they are doing, what they have been feeling or how they can hold space for them in their grief.

Or when someone is abused people may not relate to how many triggers there are throughout life. The victim usually doesn't even see how severe the impact is until they do some deep, deep inner work.

And society doesn’t know how to handle people’s pain, so they say things like “Move past it”, “Let it go.” “Time heals all wounds” and for these women, the only thing they know to do is trying to ignore the pain and move on.

But the pain does NOT go away, in fact, it festers.

In cases of abuse, these women feel inadequate, unworthy, and frustrated which causes them to never feel fulfilled. In cases of loss, women experience feelings of grief, loneliness and maybe guilt which causes them to feel empty, hopeless, lost, and sad.

It is a terrible place to be - alone in your pain. This pain festers in the body, and, causes harm to both emotional and physical wellness for themselves and loved ones.

Science is proving Stress is one of the main causes of dis-ease. And it has to stop! Or at least more awareness and support needs to be available.

This is a subject that hits really close to home and unfortunately, in many circumstances.

Experiencing and witnessing other’s pain has uncovered my purpose - to help stop and undo this damage. Damage such as depression, lack of healthy boundaries, anxiety, and lack of joy, etc. 

I help women find the validation they need, without creating a victim mindset. I help them begin to heal and feel safe to feel again.

I empower them to take charge of their thoughts, which begins to shift their feelings, grieve if needed and then begin to elevate their circumstances. 
During our time together they also learn simple mental tools to continue healing so they can find comfort and learn how to make a life not only that they enjoy, but one where they thrive. Their healing is part of my healing ♥️

If you or anyone you know could benefit from this kind of support, message me or click here for my calendar and set some time aside so we can speak. 

🦋Isn't it time to start feeling good again or at least okay?

STOP!  THEY CAN’T FILL THE HOLE/S!

I have struggled with needing outside validation and acknowledgment to feel seen, appreciated and worthy.  But the funny thing is, then my inner critic would end up deleting it or discrediting their compliment, so it is like it never happened. 

You see for as long as I can remember I have been an over achiever (or an attempted over achiever) I remember setting goals that were way to high, unrealistic and thinking how bad I fucked up if I didn’t reach them.  

I expanded my first business 6 times within a few year’s time because it had to get better, it wasn’t good enough and I would miss some kind of boat if I didn’t make it bigger.

I was being recognized by the community, I was winning most of the awards I set out to win and I had an ALL-STAR team.  And it still wasn’t good enough.  

I was in panic mode ALL. OF. THE. TIME.  I wasn’t able to be fun and lighthearted for my staff, I was always so serious because it felt like our survival was on my shoulders. I was defensive because I felt like I was doing everything wining my power and I was still falling short.  

From the outside looking in, I was living the life!  

People considered me to be a pretty big success.  I would often hear how impressed people were, how much they loved my business, my team and my products.  People couldn’t believe I accomplished so much, so young - I was 23 when I opened my day spa and it was very well known before I hit 30. 

As fast as a compliment was given, I had something to prove it wrong.  Each time I won an award, I was already in panic about winning it the next year. 

Then, I finally sought out consultants to help me “fix” the business, I went to therapy to try to “fix” myself due to sadness from life events and then I leaned on coaching when I really hit rock bottom.  Everyone I talked with would tell me how I needed to feel validation from within or nothing coming from the outside would ever be enough.  One person explained it like this:  

 

Imagine you have bucket you put all of your validation in. Yours has holes in it so it will never fill up.  Everything keeps falling through all of them.”

 

 I needed to patch the hole so my bucket could stay full and then I needed to fill it myself, with my own feelings of worth, appreciation and self-respect.  UUMmm, okay? How the hell do I do that, I can’t do anything right!  

Fast forward to now, where I will not say I am an expert by any means, but I am finding ways to patch the hole.  What is my patch made of?

  • A heaping serving of mindset work

  • A few overflowing cups of gratitude 

  • A pinch of fun and not taking myself too seriously

  • A handful of afformations or affirmations 

  • Some belief and emotion clearing

  • And marinate in meditation for at least 10 minutes

I have a client who came to me a few years ago with similar feelings of failure and she felt hers stemmed from her relationship, not feeling good enough and being too reliant on her partner for her happiness.  

She started out asking how she could be better for him and make him happier and by the time our three-month program was over she was trying to figure out how to tell him he wasn’t good enough for her!  

She created a life for herself, has tons of new activities on the calendar, exercise became a part of her routine and when you see her she is absolutely beaming.  She found her worth through the same recipe and sprinkle of a few more things. 

 She blossomed from all of the work she put into herself and her happiness.  She did all of this through the exercises and processes I guided her through. 

If you are anything like us, I’d love to share all of this type of transformation with you too.  

 

𝐈 𝐂𝐀𝐍'𝐓 𝐓𝐄𝐋𝐋 𝐌𝐘 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐍𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒!!

It is incredible how often I hear things like: 

“𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯’𝘵 𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘐 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭, 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘥𝘦𝘧𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘷𝘦.”

“𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘔𝘜𝘚𝘛 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘐 𝘢𝘮 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘢𝘤𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨.” 

“𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯’𝘵 𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘐 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘐 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘩𝘶𝘳𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴, 𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘮𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘳𝘺.” 

𝙏𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙘𝙖𝙢𝙚 𝙪𝙥 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙢𝙮 𝙘𝙡𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙬𝙚𝙚𝙠!

During one of their sessions, we were exploring some feelings my client was having about a situation she and her husband are dealing with.  
She is feeling aggravated…. and he has no idea.  
She feels like he isn't putting her first…. and he has no idea. 

She has feelings that she shared with me that he has no idea about! While I am so pleased that my clients feel so comfortable to share their deepest feelings with me, it is also my commitment to them to help them discover how to share their feelings with the people who matter most. 

Communication is becoming a dying art. Do you agree?

It seems so many people are on the defense these days. It’s like survival mode vs. survival mode – a fight to the death. It is rare that conflicting opinions can be discussed without someone getting hurt, offended, angry or shut down. This is such a shame. More often than not people could come to an understanding, compromise or agreement without any conflict at all. 

𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐚 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐟𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐬𝐞𝐭 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚 𝐟𝐞𝐰 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐩𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐝𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧.

I went over the mindset piece with my clients to see if we could change what she felt could be possible. Then, as I asked her few questions, I watched her expression soften and her body posture change to one of happiness. It was like the clouds parted and the sun was shining down to help her see through all the darkness. Through these questions and conversation, it began to not only feel possible but now she was excited to have a conversation with her husband to share her feelings.”

𝘋𝘰𝘦𝘴 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘶𝘯𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵? 𝘌𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺, 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘪𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘺 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵?

𝐈 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 “𝐒𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐬” 𝐭𝐨 𝐒𝐮𝐜𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮.

Click on this link to schedule a discovery call:
https://bit.ly/2ZOiJSD