😖MY GOOD INTENTIONS F’ED IT UP..

In more ways than one. 

Most of us have a few traits that cause us the most grief in life.  

A lot of times people tell us what they are and usually it doesn’t feel great to hear.  

Sometimes we figure it out on our own. 

And sadly, sometimes, people will never know - They remain baffled by the suffering they cause for themselves for years and years.

I have a few aspects of my behavior that do not serve me.. AT ALL. 

Probably the one that has held me back the most is my lack of boundaries.  

I used to get myself in situations that I didn’t know how to get out of.  This stemmed from wanting to be open minded, fair .. I am a Libra, after all.  

I also understand now that is was because I did not want to be alone or rejected so I denied how I was feeling and accepted behavior that deep down did not feel good.  

I would try to ignore the feelings of anxiety that would creep up and I’d listen to my inner critic and the manipulators around me tell me how I’m a mess, I get upset to easy, I’m too sensitive, I need to learn to let shit go. 

As time would go on, everything would trigger me around the situations.  Every time I was quiet and still thoughts would spin in my head, I would begin to resent what I accepted, and unconsciously I felt the person owed me because I sacrificed and did what they wanted. 

I wanted to be accommodating and “compromise” but I was only ever compromising myself.  

Another big challenge was how often my intentions were not seen as positive.  

While I did and do have totally positive and pure intentions, they were getting mixed into my feelings of resentment from giving in more than I really wanted.  And then things felt like survival mode all of the time.

It all made sense when I started to relate it to how everything is energy.  Our body, our emotions our communications.  So, my positiveattempt to be accommodating was mixing with thenegativeenergy of resentment.  

It is no wonder I was taken wrong so often; I was sending out very conflicting energy.

I have experienced a lot of suffering from this behavior and many of my relationships suffered from it as well. I’ll admit I still have these tendencies; I am very aware though not always in time to save a situation, but I am committed to trying to transition into a new version of me.  

I have done and do a lot of inner work.  A LOT. Which is why I am finally getting to some core beliefs that cause these behaviors.  I’m not saying that means those tendencies are gone, but at least there is potential. Lately all of this work has helped me discover some serious deep-rooted shit.  There is a lot that can happen when you start doing the inner work.  Often you see just how much shit there is – a gut punch of a reality check of what a mess you are, or life has been.  

This is why even though I think it is important to work on yourself, it is even more important and valuable to work WITH someone.  The value an objective observer brings to your healing and self-awareness is absolutely priceless. They can be the support when you need it, the nudge when you are pussy footing and the praise and acknowledgement when you have pushed through something.  

Also, because this person is simply an observer, they hear exactlywhat you have saidwithout the distractions of what you feel.  This is when breakthroughs happen.  Thoughts are what lead to feelings, and then feelings affect your thoughts… Until you get them both right, you are going to stay stuck, anxious and all the other unwanted emotions.

Thank goodness for all of the awesome modalities out there.  Thank goodness for all of the amazing practitioners.  Thank goodness for the potential to heal even when it feels impossible!

This support is incredibly valuable when it comes to changing mindset and beliefs – changing your life!

·     Have you worked with anyone yet?  

·     If so tell me how it helped, what was your favorite part?

·     And if you haven’t, I’d love to know why.  

·     What is stopping you?  

·     What would help you move toward working with someone?

If you are interested, this is what I do, and I would love to speak with you to see if I could help. 

IT NEVER STOPS FASCINATING ME!

Foreword:Often when I am too close to what I am talking about, or it is something I have a lot of experience or connection to, I don’t do a great job talking about it clearly or easy to follow so PLEASE tell me if that is the case here because it is a very interesting bit I’d like to share.

 
Usually, I am so fearless sharing my shit.  Right now, though - I feel a little too vulnerable to air my “dirty (belief) laundry” publicly. ☺️ Maybe someday soon.  

Anyway, I thought I would share an interesting example of my magical blend of Body Code, Emotion Code and Energy Clearing.  

I’m going to share my self-coaching-session from yesterday.

It had to do with me letting go of XYZ thoughts/behavior of mine which has no benefit to anyone.  

I’m going to start out explaining as if it were you receiving a session:

First, we determine what it is that you want to experience less of or more of.   

I’ll use Less Anxiety as an example.

We determine what the symptoms/affects are of this thing:

Examples:  Feel out of control, can’t focus, has a negative impact on your relationships

We determine what you want to feel instead: 

Example:Peaceful, Calm, Safe

Then, we design a few questions, using my special method and some pretty spot on intuition.  I usually like us to create a negatively stated version and positively stated version.  

Example of each:

What trapped emotion, imbalance or belief could we address to stop Anxiety?

What trapped emotion, imbalance or belief that we can address to increase feelings of calm?

I won’t go into the details about the “how”we get all the answers, because that’s a WHOLE other post, lol.  *I have a video explaining it all and I’m happy to send out to anyone who is curious…

Okay, now that the ground work is laid, we will go back to the details of my session:

Through this magical process, a Viral Energy was detected – 

I tested which kind it could be from a list of different types – I went straight to the grosses one - Do I have herpes? 😫The answer was No.  Thank goodness!  

I went through the entire list and it didn’t end up being any of them.  Hmm? 

🙌🏻This is where the intuition becomes so crazy, valuable and time saving! 🙌🏻

I let myself sink into my mini trance and start exploring some other questions.  

Is it a fear of disease? Yes 

From a past life? Yes 

(An odd question for me to go to because I’m not sure if I believe in past lives.)  

I kind of do, kind of don’t and kind of think I am leaning more toward believing in them. 
Then I wonder if I am in a similar way some people find God.  When people don’t have answers or solutions, they usually try to find what gives comfort and support.  

But this is a WHOLE other story. 

Now, back to tapping into intuition to guide me to the right questions:

Is it something I died from? Yes. 

An STD? No.   (I pause here and ask myself “Why do you keep going there?” SO GROSS!) 

Something sexual? No. 

An obsession? Yes. 

Sex? No. 

Nudity? No. 

Porn? No. 

Hurting people? Yes.  

Physically? No.  

Emotionally? Yes.  

On purpose? Yes. 

Torturing? Yes.  

Is it something I do in this life? No. 

Is it something I am experiencing in this life? Yes. 

The bummer is that, for today, this was as far as my inquiry about this negative thinking/behavior of mine would go..  

 I will return to it tomorrow to dig a little deeper but now we get to find out what can be released to help me let go of XYZ thoughts/behavior?

Next, we get to the releases - The question being:

What is the most significant trapped emotion, belief or imbalance I can address to let go of whatever residual energy has carried onto this life so I can be free of the negative impact and pain it causes? 

And all the stuffs that came up:

·     Inherited Trapped Emotion of Price from an ancestor 

·     Trapped Emotion of Terror (representing Terror that I created)

·     Trapped Emotion of Grief 

·     The energy of “Wrong” (representing the energy of the lack of holding boundaries) 

·     The belief “I am flawed” (from the past life – the way I was perceived, I was different, I was not accepted so I hurt people – that was my power)

·     Cleaning supply toxicity?  What?! (Oh, it has to do with past life – poverty – filthy environment)

·     Inherited Trapped Emotion of Lack of Control 

·     Trapped Emotion of Disgust – of an individual’s behavior in a past life, not mine.. phew!

And it ended there.  You bet I’ll be resuming this session ASAP.  

My point in sharing all this is to show you how odd and interesting these sessions can be.  

They are always different and not always what you expect (and not always this obscure either).  

We work off of a few charts to uncover the answers. 

There is a somewhat limited amount of options (a few hundred or maybe thousand, I haven’t counted) 

And the cool things are, if we come to something like past lives or evil spirits and they are not within your belief system, we can assume it is symbolic and it is the closest to the answer that the subconscious could find.  

It never stops fascinating me!  

Do you know I helped someone who had poison ivy and by the end of the session it was already going away and by the next day she said it was almost healed!

And I have helped many individuals reduce anxiety and increase energy. 

There is no limit to what you can address with this work – it is absolutely amazing!

And wow! I realize this was the longest post EVER, but if you made it this far you must be somewhat intrigued, eh?

If so, let me know if there is anything, I need to explain better or with more detail.  Let me know what you are curious about or when you want to book your session 😉  

😠 OH MAN, HE REALLY GOT MY GOAT 😤

I was in the company of someone last night and today who knew it all. 

🧠 I mean he knew EVERYTHING. 

He had all the answers, knew how everyone was creating their own problems and more importantly, he knew how to fix the world *insert eye roll here. 

Though I believe he is well-intentioned, I thought he was arrogant AF and could use a healthy dose of humility. 

🤬 I was practically boiling because no matter what was being said, he had some way to tell me why I was wrong and make sure it made him look like the all-mighty, all-knowing.

For a moment, I needed to pause to get a break from his heckling and within this space of silence something inside of me asked: “Why are you so bothered by his personality?”

And THIS is why I am so in love with the work that I do. 

All of the different modalities I’ve studied can really help you pause, think about feelings and go into inquiry. 

I found myself questioning why I felt so repulsed with his personality and THEN part of me considered it was because I could see aspects of myself in him. 

When I dug deeper, a few observations:

• I too have positive intentions

• I also think I’m pretty f’in smart  

• I get frustrated when people don’t listen to my suggestions or tips on how they could improve their lives

I don’t think I’m near as offensive as I have been in the past (or he was last night). 

I THINK I have learned to balance my “know-it-all” part with my “don’t be an asshole" part. 

💏 I believe it is only those closest to me who see this side of me anymore. 
Most of the time those closest to us get our best AND unfortunately our worse, don't they?
I feel bad about that and after this experience….

I’d like to dive in to see 
🌎 I am ready to evolve again. 

🙏🏻 Times like these I am so grateful for the work that I do. I appreciate all the tools available to support those of us who want to explore all aspects of ourselves. 

The Good.

The Bad.

And The Ugly. 

Another thing that is so beautiful about these tools is how they can help us uncover the not so flattering aspects of ourselves without the inner critic coming out with a vengeance or feeling like a failure. 

🙇🏼‍♂️ After all, we are all just imperfect humans, right?

🎁 I also appreciate these, what could be "negative" traits because they are a big part of my gift. 
Some of these traits are why I am able to help so many people, in so many different ways. 

So, without a desire to lose the benefits of them, I can ask:

• In what ways would changing benefit myself and others?  

• How else can I evolve so I make people feel comfortable when they speak with me?  

• How can I balance helping and sitting back to let people make their own decisions even if they are "mistakes"? 

• More importantly, how can I let go when these decisions have a direct impact on my life?

As much as I am still feeling a little agitated by the interaction, I absolutely love this opportunity to dig deeper within myself and get honest. 

🤔 Who will the new version of me be after spending a few hours with someone who rubbed me the wrong way? 

Shadow work, here I come…. 

Who wants to dig deep with me?  
PM and we can talk about the amazing things this work can do for you.