Getting the most out of this holiday season

A lot can happen over the next few weeks.  A mix of excitement and overload.  And it is so crazy to think that the holidays are going to be here like the blink of an eye, as well as the new year!  I don't know about you, but I just started to get used to writing 2019!  

Here's what we can expect over the next few weeks:

• Changes to your usual routines

• Extra get togethers or activities

• Pressure of holiday responsibilities, shopping and budgets

• Potential for family feuds - If you are an empath or highly sensitive - exhaustion from the extra interactions

• Setting goals and intentions for the new year to come

Here are 8 expert tips to enjoy yourself and have a great holiday season

1. Set an intention for the season. 

• What do you want to do?

• How do you want to feel?

• What emotions do you want to experience?

List it all out, find what feels the most meaningful to you and create an intention.  You can even write it out as an affirmation - Something short, simple and sweet.  For example:

I am patient, joyful and kind. 

I am loving, present and calm.

I am living in the moment and finding something special in each of them.

2. Have realistic expectations. 

Nothing ruins a good time like expectations.  So let's get real.  

You know someone is going to say something that makes your jaw drop.  Someone is going to be late.  Someone is going to be messy.  Errands or tasks may take longer than usual.  Set yourself up for less disappointment by being realistic about what to expect.  

3. Have a plan for potentially tense situations.

1. Have a go-to mantra (a statement or phrase that you can repeat to yourself to bring you back to the moment and to a mental state that serves you. Example: I am calm, collected and remain centered.

2. Choose a style of pranayama or breathing exercise that helps you slow down and release. I love 3 part breathing. Generally, people breathe only into their upper chest and neglect the expansiveness of the lungs available by practicing deep diaphragmatic breathing. It will help calm the mind, slow the breath, and bring focus to the moment. It can be practiced seated, laying down, or standing. I like to suggest resting one hand on the belly and one hand on the heart to physically observe the expansion and contraction of the lungs. For the first few rounds, you may wish to exhale out the mouth, but generally, this breath should be in and out through the nose.

• Inhale deeply through the nose, inflating the belly as if expanding a balloon. Exhale through the nose, contracting the belly by pulling navel to spine.

• Inhale, fill the belly and low chest, expanding the ribcage front to back, side to side. Feel the space between the ribs expand. Exhale, the ribcage falls and belly contracts.

• Inhale, fill the belly, ribcage, and upper chest, breathing into the clavicle region, feeling the shoulders rise slightly at the top of your inhalation. Exhale, chest falls, ribcage falls, belly draws to spine.

• Repeat this breath, breathing in belly-ribcage-chest, and if preferred, add a short retention at the top of the inhalation, focusing on the point between the eyebrows, then exhale slowly through the nose.

4. Maintain some of your routines.  

Many people tend to get stressed or feel overwhelmed when their routines are interrupted, which we have to expect to happen this time of year.  As much as this may feel impossible or impractical, try to keep some consistency with your usual routine and now is the time to ramp up self-care. Pick up some new grounding and shielding routine to help you be less affected or less absorbent of the energy of those around you.  

One of my personal practices is that I have given a name to my wake up alarms on my cell phone. So when they go off, my phone shows the title of the alarm.  One, is "Make today great" and my final alarm (after 3 or 4 snoozes 😏) is "shields up".  This is when I imagine a shimmery golden glass egg coming up from the floor and encapsulating me to keep me protected from non-serving energy I will encounter throughout the day.   

5. Take care of your mind, body and behavior.  

• Body: Activate the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS) and relax the body as a whole. My favorites - find a restorative yoga class, meditation or yoga nidra, these will also engage the PNS and help you rest, digest and heal.

• Emotions: Encourage positive emotions by focusing on and savoring all the positive experiences associated with the holidays. Spending a minute or so relishing these experiences helps them enter our long-term emotional memory and sink in. Think gratitude journal.

• Thoughts: Our thought create our experience, so if you find yourself frustrated or disappointed by something or someone, try to see the circumstance from a different perspective or a different lens.

• Actions: Do things more mindfully, more thoughtfully and with more intention.

6. Create reminders of your intention. 

It’s easy to get carried away, let stress consume you and forget the purpose and meaning of the holidays. A visual reminder helps bring you back and put things in perspective.  Taping quotes to your fridge or putting them in frames in other areas of the house is a simple reminder

• "Be the change you wish to see in the world."

• "You may be one person in the world, but to one person you may be the world."

• "A single sentence at the right time could change someone's life forever."

• "Let your presence be your present."

• "Life is too important to be taken seriously."

7. Create an environment of calm. 

• Do you have a favorite aroma or calming album?

• Is there a blanket that makes your stresses melt away as soon as you touch it?

• Or a cozy pair of socks or slippers or a pet you can snuggle up to?

• Do you have a favorite tea or light-hearted book you like to read?

• Keep all of these tools readily available and use them more often the usual.

• In fact, look for additional tools, like coloring, journaling, clearing away clutter, writing thank you notes to those you love or spending some time massaging your own feet or brushing your hair.

8. Have fun activities planned for get-togethers. 

Keep people occupied to keep them happy.  Find playful, silly games that can keep people engaged and interacting.  This allows for friendliness and fun to dominate over differences of opinions, our political climate or gossiping about what cousin Sally has been up to.  

Cards Against Humanity is always a fun adult game.  I used to love Catch Phrase!  Or you can create your own game.

I just had an idea to hide Christmas ornaments like you would Easter eggs!  You could put a tag on each one with truth or dare written on it or a get to know you question.  

Or even more fun, write a type of drink or shot on it and have the ingredients on hand, then whoever finds that ornament with that shot, that’s what they have to try.  You could do this with unusual foods too.

I hope these 8 tips are helpful to you and feel free to share with friends or loved ones who could use the support as well.  If you or anyone you know struggles this time of year due to holidays, family, Seasonal Affective Disorder or pressure of the upcoming new year, reach out or have them connect with me so we can discuss more personalized options to make it all more comfortable. Click here to schedule time to Chat!

Warmest wishes,

Heather

CAN YOU STOP THEM FROM F’ING THINGS UP?

I have a had sessions with some highly aware clients recently.  At times, even the most evolved individuals can get stuck in modes that don’t serve them. So it is really fun to work with individuals who are ready to question everything, even what they know to be fact.  

While checking in with one of them this week, going over their goals for our session, they said they wanted to release the negative energy other people were sending them.

It took me back for a moment because this is not the usual disposition of my clients - it felt disempowered. I felt the vulnerability and pain from her feelings of lack of control. It can be difficult to witness this since I grow so attached and protective of my clients.

Sometimes as a coach you take risks asking tough questions - Ones that you know, if your client is in the wrong headspace and you have not established strong rapport, you could lose them.  But the risk is usually where you uncover all of the gain.

So, I warned her, I have a question for you, “I am not saying you are wrong about people sending negativity your way, but I am asking what if they are not?

Then I went further and asked, “What if it is actually you?”

In this moment, I could tell the question wasn’t sitting comfortably.  It was essentially discrediting my client’s feelings and possibly accusing her of making things up to blame someone else.  So quickly, I explained I am not saying you are wrong.  And assuming you are 100% accurate, what would change for you IF you found out you were wrong, and no one was sending anything?”

In THAT moment, the breath that occurred was so big, so much was let go, I could feel the release. 

After a few minutes of her sharing, we established nothing changed as far as if she felt people were sending negative energy but what did change was her feeling of empowerment and control.  

We talked about what to do to stop other people’s energy or intention from invading hers, we purged and purified existing negative energies, we created a plan to shield and protect and worked through some nurture and healing methods to help fortify her energy to protect from future attack.  Ending it all with some soft Reiki healing helped Validate everything she was experiencing and offered her a few moments for peace, comfort and safety.

Is there anywhere you are blaming someone or something else for your current circumstances?

I did this for a while, and I will share about that in my next post.  Until then, question everything! ♡

PEOPLE CAN BE SO UGLY

Being a highly sensitive empath can be a blessing and a curse.  The rest of you HSE’s, you know what I mean, right?  Until you can learn how to use it as a gift it can be torture.  And even once you have learned how to use it as a gift there can still be events that knock your right on your emotional ass.

If you have been following me recently you may know, I picked up and moved, starting from scratch or maybe from minus, lol.  I left my home, half of my pets 😭 and my partner, closed my store and packed 99% of my belonging and loaded them in storage so I could do some much-needed inner work.  Nothing is certain still, which is not one of my favorite states to be in.  

Will I stay here? Will I move back? Can he and I work things out? Will I see my cats again? Will he get rid of the dog that drove me to the edge of insanity? Can I feel fulfilled in a town that wasn’t into all the things that I do - yet has its quaint qualities I began to appreciate?  It’s some rough stuff.  

And then add  my constant desire to dig even deeper and find purpose and meaning to life, I’m really taking myself for a ride – Sometimes I feel like super women, other times I’m falling to pieces but mostly in a place hopping back and forth between the two.

This week has been an in between and falling to pieces kind of week. My dad is back in the hospital in Pennsylvania and I feel bad that so much has happened for him just weeks after I came down to Florida.   I’m not physically there and I’m a little mentally preoccupied, so there may be a little guilt and fear.  

I am just trying to plug away to get business established and build myself up again, while juggling what is still happening back “home”. 

Months back, I met an amazing fellow Reiki Master Teacher and something about her made me feel so comfortable I shared an idea I had for months, probably closer to a year.  I wanted to work with reiki more often and also wanted to make it more accessible to people, so I had this idea for a Group Reiki Membership.

Within weeks we launched the program and it has been going strong ever since.  This membership provides reiki healing from a distance and for those of you that are familiar with reiki you know this can be done once you are attuned to level 2.  Almost everyone can pin point one or more things that have changed about their life since beginning with us.

*Side note, how cool is intuition to set me up a business I could provide from anywhere, just before I need to leave (or sometimes I think it was all the reiki healing that happened that initiated me knowing I needed to leave.  

Anyway, I have been feeling so at home at peace since I arrived in Florida, until yesterday when I got a gut punch by someone completely insulting me and the idea of this style of reiki.  She used her “knowledge” from her healer friends as her “facts” as to why what Val and I are doing isn’t right.  In fact, she accused me of being unethical (and I’m supposed to work with this person – awkward!)

I know I am not doing anything wrong, not a single one of my 7 maybe 8 reiki trainings contradicts this idea and based on her email I could assume she is an ignorant, rude, short tempered, threatened, jealous, resentful, isn’t following her dream, or she hasn’t had the support she has craved all of her life.  

But no matter what her issue is the fact that she chose to direct toward me, it impacted me.  I took it personal for a bit. Then when I realized the bigger picture what actually bothers me about it all is that people can be so mean.  So selfish and quick to throw rude, disrespectful worlds around as if they don’t care how it may affect the recipient.  

Aren’t there enough meme’s out there saying “Be kind because You never know what someone is going through on the inside.”?

And I’d like to say, I would have loved if she contacted me and said “what you are offering doesn’t make sense, because everything I know says it has to be done x,y,z.  Tell me why you can do it differently.  Let me learn and then come to an educated decision.”  But she didn’t. She came in full attack mode with ignorance as her weapon.  

It is just sad.  Why can people be so mean?  Why so ugly?  Aren’t we all just trying to survive this life and find some safety, joy and fulfillment?  Some of us are even trying to make it a better place for other too. 

I’d love to think my reply to her may open her mind and allow her to approach me again, more gently so we can set the nastiness aside.  And I won’t hold my breath.  

But one the main things I can take from it is that people can also be so beautiful too.  Because when I shared the info with Val, my Fellow Reiki Master Teacher, her immediate reply was 

“Oh, so sad.  I feel bad for that person.  Send them love.” And I mean immediate she say “Send them love.”
And in that, I felt something, maybe compassion is a better way to describe it for where I am right now, but I am listening to Val and my intention is to send her love, (though still slightly jarred from the circumstance).  

I’m sending myself some love.  

And I’m sending even more to our Group Reiki Members for being open minded, believing in us and allowing us to show people what they think is impossible is actually quite possible and profound.  

I know I wouldn’t be where I am if it hadn’t begun.  

Does Distant Group Reiki sound crazy to you?  If it does, please refrain from telling me off 🤣 but lets chat.  

I like to hear about what the limitations feel like.  I love how we are learning about how limitless energy really is.  It is simply our perception that is holding us back.  I won’t be trying to force you into a different believe, just to chat and learn more.