WHEN ENOUGH IS ENOUGH

Have you been or are you at a point in your life that you are sick of things the way they are?

Have they been like this for so long and you are just tired of it?!

Maybe you are like me and this is not the first time you have felt frustrated with where you are in life?

A coach I have worked with and follow loves the phrased “Pissed and Passionate” and I think I have arrived there. And none of this is a negative as it may be coming off.

I’m happy with where I am right now. I’m living in the most beautiful place. Warm weather and sunshine. The beach is only minutes away, the pools on only steps away. I have time to invest in myself and my business and it has been showing.

AND I’m still not content with where I am. I know I could have more, be more, and be loving life even more than I currently am.

So I reflect, why? What isn’t changing even though I think I’m doing everything I can to grow and progress? Why have I felt like I am spinning my wheels?

Another friend/business strategy coach recently talked about how we really need to measure our efforts toward our goals more closely. This was inspired because she got a fit bit and learned that even though she thought she was doing what it would take to reach her fitness goals, the Fitbit showed her the facts. She was actually only putting out a fraction of the effort she thought she was which meant she was not going to reach her goal and likely become frustrated by her unrewarded efforts. Even possibly, eventually giving up on them completely.

Such an awesome insight!

So I ask, how closely are you measuring your actions towards your goals?

Then consider, do you have everything it takes to get to your goal?

And yes, energetically and spiritually you have the ability to achieve just about anything.

BUT, will you?

This is where I have been for the last few weeks. Noticing that I am trying to stretch my zone of genius to areas of business that I’m not super familiar with and honestly, ones I don’t enjoy at all. I’m trying to do it all and likely doing a lot of it half-ass.

So then I ask myself, do I want to do THIS for the next few years? To spend hours to learn something I don’t even want to do? To have to test things out and learn the hard way? Or do I want to be able to focus all of my time and energy on what I absolutely LOVE… working with my clients and creating programs to help support people?

Am I ready to allow life to become easier? To flow into abundance?

Are you ready to allow life to become easier and more enjoyable?

And when I say Abundance, I mean things like Time, Freedom, Experiences and Yes, of course, the obvious, Money 😁.

For years I wanted this, and for years it was not possible. Beliefs like “I’m not good enough”, “I’m not disciplined enough to get really successful" or “No one understands me” made me believe it was not possible. Beliefs that kept me stuck and stagnant.

And through the past year, increasing my focus on clearing core beliefs I have been able to step outside of what was once my rigid comfort zone which is helping me grow in more ways than one. It has been lifting that veil of frustration and feeling defeated.

Clearing these beliefs has allowed me to see I am worthy of support. I am worthy of success. I am worthy of experiencing this life with more joy and less struggle.

Clearing these beliefs has helped me uncover the resources I couldn’t find in the past, so I have been able to hire my own coaches. I have 3 right now. Yep, 3 different coaches! Each for their personal zone of genius so I can focus more on mine.

So I’d like to ask, when you consider how you are experiencing life, what beliefs do you think are creating your current experience?

Sometimes an easier way to come up with the answer is to imagine someone telling you the stories about their circumstances and think “What must they believe to have this experience?” or “What have they likely experienced in life to bring them to this place and what beliefs might they established because of it.”

Now imagine, to have the life you dream of, what beliefs would need to have?

And know that we can clear the negative and create the empowering ones! You aren’t stuck. You don’t have to accept feeling frustrated or unfulfilled.

If any of this resonates with you, I’d like to invite you to hop on a call with me so I can share how to the root of the limiting beliefs to weed them out like the weeds in your garden and then how to implant new empowering beliefs that will allow you to grow and flourish - in ways that you’ve only experienced in daydreams.

Life will be experienced based on the beliefs that have been ingrained in you. They aren’t usually the ones that allow you to LOVE life. Are you ready to LOVE your life?

If so, let’s talk. ♡

What do we do about Grief?

I try to tap into as many resources as possible so I can add to my tools box for my clients.  And right now, it felt appropriate for me to dig deeper into resources for grief.  

For two reasons:

1.     The virus – being isolated and the financial fears many people have – grieving the loss of our norm, our social connections, etc. 

2.     AND a personal experience – 4 weeks ago, I had an abdominal hysterectomy that my doctors have been suggesting for over 3 ½-4 years but I have been hoping to have a child for YEARS. 

What both of these experiences have opened my eyes to is how little we have been taught about grief and holding space without trying to “fix it”.  So many of us try to fix it all.

It is rare that people can just sit while you cry without telling you “It’ll be okay.” “Eventually, whatever it is will not hurt as bad.”  And while that may be true, that idea does not erase the grief of what you may be experiencing… 

For people who get married and divorced young “You have your whole life ahead of you.”

For people in a situation like me “There’s always adoption.  Have you considered adoption?”

Or when someone loses their job “Well, you hated that job anyway, didn’t you?”

It is amazing how little experience the majority of society has on how to deal with grief.  We haven’t been taught much about it and since it is just so uncomfortable, we tend to try to make it all okay - either problem solve or brush it under the rug because…

Gah, dealing with emotions… that’s messy work!  

During times of grieving, I think people want to be supportive and they say things to show you they can relate to what they think you are going through.  

AND I also believe this is because they are subconsciously craving to be validated because they were not given the opportunity to process grief when they experienced it.  I have noticed I am guilty of this!  

We aren’t taught how to process our own grief, how on earth can we support someone else processing theirs?

By nature, I am a fixer.  I want to help people not suffer and through this personal experience, what I have realized is that sometimes supporting someone means letting them experience what they need to experience and just being there, just being with them, for that, just holding space with no attempt of trying to make it better.  

My new intention is to listen to what someone is going through and have compassion, hold space and not compare or try to show them another way of thinking.  

Maybe that means when someone shares something instead of relaying back how I relate, I may say how sorry I am that they have to go through that and that I am here for them so they don’t have to go through it alone – even if that means just sitting in the same room together not saying a word.

If this resonates with anything that you are experiencing and you would like someone to just hold space for you, I’m here. Or you if you need someone to help be a fixer, I’m here for that as well.

What Gives You Butterflies – Is it Nerves or Excitement?

For a long time, I was living in anxiety and stress that I became unable to differentiate between the two. Everything felt like anxiety. Sweating, nervous stomach, race thoughts.

I started to notice this - that I felt the same when I was excited as I did when I was nervous or anxious and it frustrated me!

For crying out loud, my life was stressful enough couldn't the good things feel good?
Why did they have to feel just as bad as the bad?

Since then, I have invested a lot of time and effort to reprogram my body to tell the difference so I can enjoy excitement rather than feeling uncomfortable with it.

There are many ways to do this, and you can do them on your own: Meditation, Yoga, Crystal Healing, EFT, and Somatic Experiencing, just to name a few.

But if you are experiencing anything like this and you aren't sure where to start or how to reprogram your responses, I'm here to help.