SHE SAID "What are you trying not to see?"

A colleague posed that question when I pointed out this swollen eye-o-mine.
Can I say how much I love my peeps and how hey challenge EVERYTHING about life.

And can I also say F**K.

I wondered what this stye like thing was about and once she said it, it felt like a gut punch.
I'm being told my dad does not have long in this world and it is hard.
I don't want to see pain.

I don't want to see fear.

I don't want to see suffering.

I don't want to see grief.

I don't want to see how f'ed our health care system is.

I don't want to see how hard life is because this stupid virus makes it scary to travel and unsafe to visit.

And I’m struggling a bit because it is all coming up for me to see and experience.

Sometimes I wish there was vacation time from being highly sensitive and other times I think life would be empty not feeling so deeply.

And every day I am grateful for the tools I have otherwise I don't know how I could handle it all.

So as much as I don’t want to see these things, they are there, and rather than try to push them down or hide them away, I choose to be with them and I encourage you to do the same.

If you are going through a rough time, regardless of what it is, let yourself be with it.

If it is grief, let grief be there.

If it is anger, be angry.

If it is sadness, be sad.

Cry, scream, run. Do what feels good without covering it up or squashing it down.

Don't let it fester.. let it out.

If you need support. Get it.

And as always, I’m here to help ♡

Can You Be Happy in 2021?

Are you looking forward to the new year or are you dreading it?  

I am hearing mixed feelings.  And even though I am going through some messy stuff, I am looking forward to feeling like I have an opportunity for a new start with a new year. Even though it feels a lil naive to say so

Not everyone is feeling so optimistic.  The individuals who I have spoken with who are dreading the new year have shared some of their concerns, can you relate to any of them?

Do you feel stuck in a perpetual pattern and cycle of “When will I be happy”?

• When will life get better?

• When will my partner and I get along better?

• When will my business be more successful?

• When will there be more balance?

• When will I have enough time to do all the things that I have to do?

• When will I get a break?

WHEN WILL I BE HAPPY?

And so in the new year, as it comes, we often fantasize about what could happen by the end of the year. 

Many people get motivated to make a plan, to be strategic about how to make that happen.

But the biggest mistake is that there isn't enough support to continue with the strategy when things get hard and life gets in the way - Like it always does. 

So when there's an illness in the family, when there is a broken appliance in the house or with the car...

When something goes wrong and you get thrown off track.

This is why support is so valuable- To have objective people who have your best interest, people who:

• Know what you're trying to achieve

• Are able to see what you might be missing because you are too close

• Help you see past the roadblocks that have gotten in your way

• Are aware of your strategy and help you continue to stay strong with it

• Help you find & tap into other resources that you might not be noticing because you're IN IT.

Often when we're too close to something we can't see it as clear.

So while it is absolutely beautiful to start to plan for the new year -

To set new year intentions to have a vision of what 2021 could look like...

Unless you do something different it is probably going to play out like every year has prior... 

Where you end up on autopilot and life starts to lead you instead of you creating your life the way you want it.

So, would this year be the year that you would like life to change for the better? 

• Isn't it time that this is the year that your life really improves?

• That you have the relationships that you're craving?

• That you experience the level of success that you desire and deserve?

• To be able to float through challenges and circumstances, that may be out of your control but handle them in a way that feels SO GOOD - so rewarding and so calm, peaceful, and safe?

• To be able to move through experiences knowing you can handle them?

• And that you have support when you need to lean on someone?

I want to invite you to make this coming year that year for you - and for everyone in your life - Because as your life improves those around you benefit from that as well.

What would you like 2021 to look like? 

I'd really like to know.

Let's talk about it. CLICK HERE to schedule a time to Chat.

Until then, Happy New Year

It is only REAL LOVE IF YOU HATE THE PERSON and still want to be with them.

What did you think when you read that headline?

Did you think it sounded crazy?

Did it feel a little familiar?

Here is the thing about beliefs, at least the ones I help uncover and the way that I work with them. They are not something we would want or EVER consciously decide. Most of the time there can be a twinge of embarrassment saying out loud in front of someone.

That is what happened for me when I uncovered I had the belief “It isn’t real love unless you can hate the person and still want to be with them.”

It made sense to find out I had this belief considering the tumultuous dynamic I had with my partner.

Our subconscious beliefs are everything! They are why we have, don’t have, what we feel, what we are missing, they are why our life is how it is, the good, bad, and the ugly.

Most of us are walking around with beliefs along the lines of:

• I’m not good enough

• Something bad might happen

• No one understands me

• I’m not lovable

• There is something wrong with me

• I can’t make it alone

And we wonder why we don’t get the promotion, we end up in unhealthy or unfulfilling relationships or we don’t ever let our guard down enough to feel what a deeply intimate relationship can feel like.

This saddens me more than anything in the world and is why helping people identify their beliefs and clear them is so important to me. I help people find the ugly and replace it with the good, beautiful, and empowering.

So where do beliefs come from?

They form out of our experiences and the conclusions we have come to because of those experiences. They come from our caregivers, our community, people we look up to, and even people we want no connection to.

They are not something we have decided to believe at least not our core ones. The majority of our beliefs are created before we are 10 years old and we keep layering them on top of them.

They are very valuable and used for survival. They are in place to keep us from being hurt or getting into something that we can’t handle.

For example, if in the past you were hurt by love, the subconscious may create a belief of “I am unlovable” to either prep you to be unloved or stop you from getting in a relationship in the first place, so you don’t get hurt and rejected again.

Do you see how powerful, yet ironic our subconscious beliefs are?

Now, I invite you to look back at the above list of beliefs.

Think about your life and experiences and ask yourself, “Which of those beliefs makes sense considering what I have experienced in my life ?” If I believed x, y or z about myself, the world or other people, would that create the patterns or behaviors I’ve had up until now?

Let yourself select a belief that you think you may have stored in your subconscious.

In case you need some more examples to relate to here are a few more negative beliefs:

• It is bad to be different

• I am a failure

• I’m not smart

• I’ll never succeed

• People aren’t safe

• The world isn’t safe

• Money is evil

• Their needs are more important than mine

And now, I invite you to start digging a little deeper.

• Considering the belief you chose to explore, can you see how having that belief has impacted your life?

• Can you see the choices you have made because that belief has run like a truth in your brain?

• Or the risks you have or haven’t taken because of the belief?

• Can you see how one or many of the beliefs have gotten you in trouble?

• Or what self-talk it has created? Eg. “You are so stupid, you can’t do anything right.”

• Can you see how it would lead you into certain circumstances or toward certain people?

In my personal example, “It is only real love if you hate the person and still want to be with them” attracted me to an unhealthy relationship with a lot of passionate energy, but not necessarily a healthy dynamic.

That belief contributed to a healthy dynamic feeling boring/basic and kept me in a painful cycle.

For someone else, we might use the example of “I’m not smart.” or “I’ll never succeed.” Would a person with this belief running under the surface really put themselves out there at their job or in their life?

Can you see how your beliefs can limit you?

How they can direct your actions a certain way or in a certain pattern?

Can you imagine how different life could be or would have been if you could remove the negative beliefs?

I am in awe of how life can change after uncovering core beliefs and replacing them with positive beliefs that compliment what you want to experience.

I’d love to help you identify a core belief so you can start to control the beliefs instead of the beliefs controlling you.

I would love to support you as we discover what it has created or kept you from in your life and take the steps to change it all.

Are you ready to see what life can be like when you are 100% in charge?

Grab your Discovery Call, today!