Parts of you have a purpose.

Parts of you have a purpose.png

I just had an awesome Parts Therapy Session. Parts Therapy (aka Voice Dialog) is a process where we speak to different aspects of yourself (ie. The critic, the lazy part, the overeating part, the part that pushes you to achieve). In the process, we learn its purpose, how it serves you and how it can refine its role to work better than it has in the past.

It may sound weird and it is in all the right ways - it's fun, it provides amazing insights, and awareness AND it can also create some of the most rapid transformations and shifts you can experience.

I was trading with another practitioner so I provided a session for her first. We have been addressing her desire to increase her interest in sex with belief clearing and parts work.

During this process, we invited her "Resistant" part to speak with me. It wasn't sure what it was trying to do with her, why it made her resistant to sex except for fear of pregnancy, but it realized that hadn't been a risk for quite a few years now. It actually said wanted to be destroyed and then decided it would just change roles.

What was surprising was that the new role that came up was a military officer. When I asked what it represented it said it was the "Director". It was going to take charge. To myself, I wondered if the energy was that of a dominatrix 💋 So I'll be waiting for an update of what shifts for her.

And then I received my session. We addressed the part of me who wants to fix it everything and help others not feel the pain of their mistakes. The part referred to itself as, "I'm the only one who can fix it."

We figured this part was created when I was very young. It only knew to be nice, be kind, be considerate, don't hurt others. Its memories were of me as a child.

It hadn't grown up from that point to learn what boundaries are and it didn't understand that even if someone hurts me and is sorry, it is okay for me to walk away and leave them to deal with their own hurt, remorse or whatever they need to deal with. It felt it/I had to stay no matter what to stop others from feeling pain from their mistakes.

This part heard people talking about co-dependency and heard that I may now suffer from it. It knew its influence may have caused it but it was confused. Co-dependency was too grown-up a concept for it to understand what to do about it.

Later, this part identified itself as 6 years old. Which makes perfect sense. That far back, parents were teaching their kids to be kind, have good manners and be polite. Only recently is it also being considered how kids comfort and boundaries need to be respected too. Ie. When a child doesn't want to give someone a hug or kiss goodbye and they are told they are mean, rude or hurting that persons feelings. Often kids are pushed to go give the hug or kiss anyway.

Through the process my part wanted to be kind and help people but now it sees how it was hurting me. So it wants to learn how to have all of those positive qualities, while also helping me to hold my boundaries and not feel guilty to do what I need to do when something isn't good for me, even if that means someone may end up sad.

What was interesting is that It had no idea how to do that so it thought a good idea would be to go observe other parts. Ones who may be more evolved in these matters. It also thought it should read books about boundaries and co-dependency (kids versions, of course).

I am always excited to see what change occurs from these sessions. One session, from that past, was talking to my Logical Mind Part to help understand why I feel so rushed to get to the end of everything -why I rushed through things.

It turned out my logical mind was so chill, calm and composed that just getting to meet it and hear its perspective changed the way I speak. Seriously..

In the past, I was often told to slow down, that I spoke too fast or rush too much, and the progress I have made is astounding. Now more often than not, I am complimented for the pace I keep during sessions and meditations.

If this sounds as fascinating to you as it is to me, let's set up a session.

It felt good to be bad at something!

I’m not sure when it began but I have had a tendency to give up quickly when I’m not good at something. As I connect to feelings and recall experiences, I identified a few feelings and I dug deeper and deeper to find the most core.

  1. I have been too embarrassed by being bad at something

  2. If I have not been good from the start, I would never be good at all

  3. For people to think I am smart, respectable, or worthy I can't let them see my flaws.

  4. I need to be amazing or no one will like me  

Recently, I have been addressing beliefs that may be causing some of these behaviors and maybe stopping me from reaching my feeling goals: 

“I’m not good enough”

“I have no control” 

and today was “I am helpless.”

In each of these specific sessions, I created a new, empowering belief and my favorite one came out to play today.

“I can sit in imperfection.”  

Some of you may question how this is an empowering belief and for my fellow perfectionists, you can likely feel how powerful this belief could be!  

How many projects or dreams have you set aside because you didn’t think you had what it took to do it?  

Or procrastinating when you are not meeting your own expectations ad giving up completely when it gets tough?

Why is this all coming up? Because today I picked up my tongue drum.  

Something I bought a few years ago with aspirations of sitting in the park, relaxing and playing soothing sounds (I practically smelled the patchouli).

Only that’s not how it went. 

Turns out not only am I not coordinated for dancing and sports, but I have also not been coordinated for music stuff either.  

I sucked!  

So, it sat, looking pretty collecting dust. Until today.  

tongue drum.jpg

Today, I felt inspired to look on YouTube to find videos to learn to play this beautiful instrument.

And YEP! Of course, there are tons of them!  

It was awesome because a few helped me see this is something I will need to practice and that just because I am not good now, doesn’t mean I never will be.  

And even if I never am, I have a new appreciation for playing just for the sake of play.  

A few times, I found myself in a rhythm. Nothing amazing, but it was a fairly steady rhythm. More times, I found myself out of rhythm and it was okay, it was still fun. And often when I closed my eyes I felt like I was in meditation.

I am confident I owe it to that new belief "I can sit in imperfection" and of the work, I have committed to regarding my feeling goals.

And I share this in case you are like me, a perfectionist, or recovering perfectionist who struggles with trying to feel worthy or good enough.  

If you are someone who holds yourself back because you feel you can't afford to fail.

I am sharing this to invite you up to inquire, what can you give yourself permission to be bad at?

What imperfection can you sit in and either be okay with?

And also can you allow yourself to invest in learning something new, or just allow it to be an opportunity to play to reach your feeling goal?

What goals do you have? 

Not just the outcome or result you are looking to experience with your goals, but what feeling are you striving to feel more of?

Do you know why that is more important than the goal itself? 

I would love to share it with you. 

If you are interested to learn more about my signature process for achieving what you desire, guaranteed fulfillment, and more fun doing it, I would love to chat with you and share details about my upcoming 6-week program The Energetic Mastery of Goals, beginning June 15th.

This is my third time offering this program and I am interested in gaining even more feedback and testimonials than I already have so I am extending a serious discount to attend (70% OFF).

This is the only time I will be extending such huge savings.

Message me to learn more.

Half-assed or realistic?

I spend a TON of time in self reflection.

It is one of my favorite things actually and yesterday while reflecting, as I swam in my basic pool, just a few steps from my rented condo, not on vacation or some all inclusive resort, just my regular life, I thought about how I've never been willing to make ALL of the sacrifices my mentors told me I would "have" to be committed to make to live my "dream life". And my compromises have gotten me to EXACTLY how I want to FEEL!

You might not believe me but you don't have to give up all that you know and love to achieve your REAL goals!

As I have grown and evolved, I unintentionally created a methodology that has been perfect for me and for others like me...

The highly sensitives, indulgent, living life to enjoy it, doing what we want when we want, not willing to give up the snacks, the drinks, the people in our life.

We can have what we desire without giving up everything we have known and leaned on in the past.

It feels pretty amazing to create something so magical ♡

processed_20200529_195341.jpg