What impresses adults about kids might actually be warning signs

My dad used to talk so proudly of me about the moment he told me my parents were getting a divorce.

My memory is that had on sunglasses to hide he was crying, but that may have been when he told me someone died. Or maybe both, I don’t know for sure.

Anyway, he would talk about how amazed he was by me and how I handled it. while he had been sweating in anticipation for who knows for how long before the time came.

He was so wow’ed by my adultness, my level-headed, problem solving practical approach about it. Who knew it might not have been as positive a thing as he thought.

It is only recently this memory came up as I have been doing some extra deep inner work of my own. It is one of the earliest times that I am able to pinpoint putting other people’s feelings before my own. or maybe it points to my inability to experience my own feeling because I felt I needed to help other people feel good first.

When I saw my dad walking toward me I could see how distraught he was, I could sense the pain and sadness and it was so much I just wanted to make it all better. So instead of having my own reaction to hearing my family was going to be together anymore I worried about how to comfort him and reassure him I saw the bright side. Classic co-dependent behavior.

I can still see my dad beaming as he had shared this moment for so many years with people about how brave I am, how I am so strong I can handle anything…

”So here I am telling her that her mother and I are getting a divorce and Heather just looks at me and says “Will everyone be okay? Will I still get to see you?” and I assured her, of course, I’ll always be close by.” And she says “oh okay” and that was it”

I was 5 when this happened.

He said I didn’t shed a tear (which if you know me, not shedding a tear is an absolute impossibility, lol)
But seriously. FIVE.

It makes me really sad for that version of me. Happy for my dad because it took the weight of the world off his shoulders, but I think I took it and put it on mine, at 5.

How many times have we slighted ourselves from grieving and processing our feelings because we put the people first?

OR do we put other people first because we don’t know how to experience grief or process our feelings?

If we learned anything from the pandemic....

Hands down the most powerful learning or in-your-face reminder from the pandemic is that emotional health = resiliency.

For some, it may have seemed like an obvious truth but still, they may not have put all the attention on it that would benefit them. During these times tending to your emotional health and wellness is 100% a necessity!

Whether it is dealing with isolation, lack of freedom, losing a job, needing to pivot your business, affected finances, concern for safety, losing loved ones, lacking options and outlets, if you didn’t go into this with a full cup or learn how to fill it along the way you are probably suffering dearly.

So what can you do about it now?

It is NEVER too late to start developing your emotional resiliency through your emotional health.

What are some ways you can enhance your emotional wellness?

• Self-care - such as journaling, self-massage, detoxing baths, creating a soothing ritual, lighting candles, making tea, cozy socks and everything below is part of self-care…

• Exercise - yoga, HIIT, running, pilates, you name it!

• Get out in nature - taking a walk, a jog, or just sitting in the grass against a tree to help you feel more grounded and connected

• Enjoy a hobby - knitting, photography, reading, cooking, jewelry making

• Join some group activity - a book club or meditation group (these can also be found online)

• Declutter your space so the energy can flow more smoothly

• Energy therapies - crystal healing, reiki, eft, emotion | body code, smudging, etc.

• Get support - whether it is therapy or a coach

• Learn something new - something you’ve always wanted to learn - there is so much available to us now online, anything you can dream of is available.

Even if you have been hanging in during this challenging time, if there is anything on the list above that you haven’t included in your routine, I hope you might try it. And feel free to share the list with someone who could use the extra support. Even the simplest steps to nurture yourself or help others nurture themselves can plant some truly nourishing seeds that have an incredibly positive impact.

♡Heather

The universe wants to see what you will do next

Like we are with our favorite shows - before we could binge on netflix - the universe is waiting for the next episode of YOU to air. But maybe you haven’t considered that. Maybe you are stuck feeling so inadequate or unfulfilled that you didn’t imagine that to someone or something as big as the universe, you are complete and completely valuable for just being YOU.

For YEARS I could not grasp the concept of having value just existing. I created an I must accomplish this to earn xyz mentality and my self-esteem suffered from it. And then so did all of my relationships.

While we are all made up of the same stuff, we are all configured just a little bit differently. And your configuration is what makes you valuable. Your uniqueness. It exists for a reason and even if you don’t know what that reason is (yet) it is an amazing contribution to the world.

Consider how each event creates a chain of events, which creates a chain of events that creates even more chains of events. EVERYTHING we do, think, say, feel has an impact, a ripple into the world and that is mind-blowing.

Without you, how many things might not exist? With you, how many things do exist? How many events unfolded exactly as they are because of your configuration contributed?